It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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