Plan B is the new Plan A
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
