If i come over, it means nothing
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
