well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
