How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
