btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
