hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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