yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
