I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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