I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
