so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
