I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
