"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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