So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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