On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
