Will you blow on my dice?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
