I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
