Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
