he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
