the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
