Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
