New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
