susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize