Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
