She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
