Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
