Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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