The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
