The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
