Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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