# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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