we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
