Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize