Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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