ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
