Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
