I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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