No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
