It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nicole vs. Life
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He? As in you personified your dick?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
