My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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