There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
