that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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