if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
