also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
