12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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