Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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