I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She's JV to your varsity
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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