if i died would you start the facebook group?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
