I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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