Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
