she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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