Yo dont text me then not text me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
