Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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