I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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