if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
